Hay... Before watching we decided to stay at Quantum and for me to watch him play a game called Virtual-On. Ooohh.. though I'm not really familiar with the game, I should say...
He was AMAZING!!!... after watching some other players I could see that he was the only one good enough to play a nice game with.
Aw.. and I love to watch him play... its like me at the back of my mind...
HAHAHAHA!!! WALA KAYO SA BOYFRIEND KO!!! gg...
Anyway... 'nuff boasting
We decided to take a snack for our movie at McDonald's and later proceeded to watch the movie... so what is it about the movie? The graphics and everything else about it were fine except that it was very predictable, he was right when he said that everything in that story can be seen in every fantasy stories. It's like a compilation of cliche fantasy scenes... hehe...
I was able to understand the story well maybe because of its kiddie quality. Someone like me with a very low vocabulary skill was able to comprehend something like that only means that it was made for kids. ^_^ yup!! Easy to understand.
Well.. it wasn't just the movie to enjoy actually, everything else is worth enjoying when I'm with him. I remember the first time we met, it was at that mall, at the arcade hall and at the movie house too. I was very happy that time because I finally got to be with him. The moment I'd waited for, that I got to hold him, proof that he was only mine. I LOVE HIM.. and I treasure every moment with him, it's the only time I feel safe, happy and relieved.
The movie ended and so was my reminiscing moments. It was late and its time to go home.
Everything worthy to call a day was only the time that I was with him. Many other things had happened right after but those weren't important. It was just a matter of choosing to forsake someone over the one I love...
Well.. actually there's no need to choose, it's natural.
It was never in my mind, not even a single molecule of thought, that I'd choose someone else over him. He's just plain too important for me to hurt. And there's no other reason behind that... except...
I love him... hehe... simple as that.
Posted by The Star of Hope @ 11:06 AM 
Thursday, January 11, 2007
[mood 
thoughtful]
Its been days since my last update, in the course of those days, many things have happened. I'll start on the day when we went to Bataan. Well i should say, those days were kinda sad...? Somehow, it was on the 4th of January when I found out that my grandmother already died, it was at around 10 in the morning when my Tita called me on the phone and told me the dreadful news, I didn't believe her at first since at that time my Ate Telma just texted me that my grandmother was fine. So it was kinda hard for me to accept, I cried... a lot. Then I told Rex what happened, but I made sure that before talking to him I should settle myself down first. So after that simple talk with him about death and life I felt much better, and learned that the best thing to do is to accept what happened...
So we decided to go to Bataan on the 6th for her burial. Those days were really hard for me since I don't get to see him and talk to him, well, somehow it's ok because I get to speak with him on the cellphone, hay... So I was there, I stared at my grandmother's coffin, it was painful to see her there. but as I said, I already accepted it and decided to let her go, for the sake of her happiness and to relieve her from her miseries of this world. I love her, it wasn't that hard for me to let her go since I know, I was able to make her feel that I love her, hay... At least I was able to take care of her, like what i promised once I graduated as a nurse. there was this one nursing skill I was able to apply when I was taking care of her at the hospital: "BED BATH".... Hay... I wanted to do much more. But I never had the chance do to it.
Hay... 'nuff drama.
We stayed there for 5 days, I wasn't able to do much for the burial since I really don't have anything to do there. I check for my grandmother once in a while but most of the time I'd stay on my Mamang's house.
During my stay, there was this guy, who was very persistent in taking my cellphone number. I said no, I'm not allowed, someone will get mad and etc. In a nice way but he keeps on insisting, to the point that he'd follow me everywhere I go and try to talk to me still asking for the same thing. (I hate it) my answer was still the same.. NO!!!.. But he was still insisting it.
Hay... He gave me no choice so I decided to give him a number not mine but Rex's (haha! sha na bahala sa makulit na yun).
Anyway, on the fourth day of our stay there Rex was with us. I was glad, yet guilty, because I kept on insisting that he should come.
*talk about being selfish*
I wasn't able to consider his situation, that I'm giving him the stress of his life, though if ever he'd say no I'd understand. But still, he didn't and decided to come, when at that very moment he wasn't feeling well.
Hay.. stupid me (as usual).
And so it happened, he stayed with us for one night until it was time for the burial. I was happy, but the feeling of guilt stayed until the time he got home. I'm sorry, I told myself that something like that will never happen again.
Over two weeks' worth of updates! Next post upcoming!
Posted by The Star of Hope @ 1:40 PM
Sunday, December 31, 2006
[mood 
rejuvenated]
new year... new life? (nge).
i don't really have a new years resolution, well I don't want one because i tend not to do it. and plus, if i want to change something, i don't need another new year to do it. ne?!
well of course there's so many things in 2006 that I'll never forget. yup! for me. its the most memorable year of all. I'm happy that this year is over, that i was able to surpass another year of this miserable life ( in our house), well my life was never miserable. I'm happy. there's so many things to celebrate on new year than my family. because i have my friends, my second family and... him.
and now, as I approach this coming year 2007, I'm looking forward to a healthier and a less stressful life. Why?....... because I have him, there's no reason to stress my self out when I'm with him. yes. specially when he said that he's going to stay. forever
----------------
hay.. so new year's eve is here. whats so special about it? then again, that's what i would always say before. yeah! same old noisy firecrackers and pretty fireworks that I've always wanted to see with same old noisy and annoying people of our community. speaking of annoying try peaking at our house ( you'll see whats really annoying).
and yet. i know. that's not what its all about, yes! this day is special. though I feel lonely, well not that lonely, I have him, I spent my new years eve hours with him, specially when my sister surprised me with a phone call with him on the other line.
I WAS SO HAPPY... well isn't it obvious? i got so excited I didn't know what to say when he answered it.. (weird sister).. well I'm weird too... whats the deal?
so we decided to watch the pretty fireworks instead. yes! they were really pretty, that's all i could say
there were people in front of us, playing with firecrackers, we laughed at them, well, we cant help it. they were really funny. that kid who seemed so happy to the point that he was dancing in the middle of the street, but later found out that a firecracker was exploding in his foot. he's happiness turned into embarrassment when he started to jump he's way out of the firecrackers.
hahahahaha!!! I don't usually laugh at peoples mistakes, but at that time I just cant help it. if you had only seen it yourself you'd also laugh.
OK. enough about laughing. after the loud noises and noisy firecrackers. new years eve was finally over. yup! 2007 is here.
so to start the year. I WOULD LIKE TO GREET EVERY ONE A HAPPY AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR.
well
that's what everybody says ^_^.. hehe
Posted by The Star of Hope @ 10:39 PM
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
[mood 
happy]
its been days since my last update, and yes! Christmas had passed, "so whats so special about it?" -- well that's how I would always say it
whenever this kinds of occasions happen, even on my own birthday. but now. I could say that this Christmas is different. why? even though I wasn't
able to enjoy it for these past few years, that the real essence of that day was absent. (it has always been ever since).
still....
I could say that I was Happy... really happy, Like a child who's always excited for Christmas, even without gifts, money and etc -- Christmas was
never about that,
My Christmas eve was spent on my room, with our hamster amigo and my good, old universal cellphone. yes! my Christmas was spent with him,
though he wasn't physically there, we texted each other the whole time... I was such a fool for almost destroying my Christmas just because of the common stressful things at our house (you know what I mean). and I thank him for that, he made me realize that we are not just plain celebrating
for our family, and for the lord but also for us... that we have each other and were together.
hun,,, thank you for saving my Christmas
and to all those who made an effort to greet me, either in my cel or in YM... thanks a lot,
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL... ^_^
oh.. and to my onee sama.. she made this new layout of my blog and all i can say is...
AWWWWW!!!! ITS SOOOOOO CUTE!! thank you onee sama thank you very much ^_^
Posted by The Star of Hope @ 8:52 PM
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
[mood 
distressed...yet mellow]
several days have passed and so many things have happened..
and all those things are considered worthwhile..may it be good or bad. even though it scared me a lot, when I thought that there's nothing I could do for it...for him...for us. as I said before... I'll keep on holding as long as i could. I'll try anything and everything. My Goal is nothing more than his happiness
konna ni tsumetai tobari no fukaku de
anata wa hitori de nemutteru
inori no utagoe sabishii nohara wo
chiisa na hikari ga terashitetaanata no yume wo miteta
kodomo no you ni waratteta
natsukashiku mada tooku
sore wa mirai no yakusokuitsuka midori no asa ni
itsuka tadoritsukeru to
fuyugareta kono sora wo
shinjiteiru kara
Fields of hopeumarete kita hi ni dakishimete kureta
yasashii ano te wo sagashiteru
inori no utagoe hitotsu kiete mata hajimaru
tayorinaku setsunaku tsuzukuitsuka midori no asa e
subete no yoru wo koete
sore wa tada hitori zutsu
mitsukete yuku basho dakaraima wa tada kono mune de
anata wo atatametai
natsukashiku mada tooi
yasuragi no tame ni
Fields of hopenatsukashiku mada tooi
yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope
~~song by miss Tanaka Rie, FIELDS OF HOPE
Beneath a veil so cold,
You deeply sleep, all alone
The melody of prayer; on the lonely fields,
a little light shined I watched as you dreamed
You laughed like a child
So dear, and yet so far -
That is the promise of our future That one day, on a green morning,
One day, we will make it there
Because in this wintered sky
We still believe
Fields of Hope On the day we were born, we were embraced
And now we search for those gentle hands again
The melody of prayer; one vanishes,
And all begins again; a powerless, painful continuation One day, to that green morning,
We'll cross through all these nights
Because that is the place each one of us searches for Now, within my own heart,
I want to keep you warm
So dear, and yet so far -
In the name of peace
Fields of Hope So dear, and yet so far -
The fields of promise
Fields of Hope
Fields of Hope
I love this song... I just found it while browsing on IMEEM, there's something about this song, and its content fits just right to my mood right now, I may not be able to understand it fully or the exact meaning it conveys. but on that specific line
"We'll cross through all these nights
Because that is the place each one of us searches for Now, within my own heart,
I want to keep you warm"
says it all...
I LOVE YOU...
..................................
OK... so now I'm here, in front of the computer, waiting and waiting for that time, that specific time, for that someone from faraway to call and set me free and use the TELEPHONE!!!!
OH MY GOD!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! but... but.. i really really want to use it... it may be so selfish of me but what the heck?! I wasn't able to talk to him for these past few hours... dies~
hay... yes I admit it, "adik na kung adik", I don't really know how to say it properly but I'm sure you'll all understand... so there's nothing left for me to do but to wait, hay, it seems like its a never ending waiting process!!.. ahhh I WANT TO RIDE A PLANE AND CRASH!!!! (lol) -- i got this line from a friend, Michelle... she was so stressed and she just suddenly shouted. haha *that line*, and at that time it was only a few hours away until her departure to Kuwait. we just thought. what if it really happens?, should we mourn for her death? or laugh because that was the exact same thing she wanted... haha! I know its just a joke, or a stress reliever, hmm..oh well... why am i talking about it in the first place?.. I have no plans on riding a plane
~_~ weird
I just received a testimonial from Dave at friendster... the one I asked for a long time ago, and I never expected it to be...uhh..how should i say this.. offending? yes that's it! and Rex sure didn't liked it, I know it was just a joke and he knows it as well, but as he said... its not proper to say something like that on a publicly viewed profile, and the mere fact that I'm a girl and he's a guy gives it a sense of being manner less... uhhh... am i too much?, its over anyway. and I'm sorry because I'm not keeping the testimonial. Ill talk to him later when I get the time.
there... so whats my next plan?... oh! i just remembered, I'm all alone.. at our room, but I'm not scared, because I have ueki, sasha and amigo with me ^_^, and ash?.. oh he keeps on running away and I bet he's hungry by the time he gets back..(poor ash)
hay..I feel lonely whenever I sleep alone (except at our house in cavite), but imagination always comes in handy..^_^ (hahaha)
OK..the situation is still the same...I'm still not free to use the telephone!... but later I will be.. hay... just later.
Posted by The Star of Hope @ 4:54 PM
Thursday, December 14, 2006
[mood 
indescribable...and bored]
still...I'm not feeling well
same feeling as yesterday... I'm here at tita jengs place... using the net as usual, havent eaten anything yet... no appetite, i guess! flo left early today, as always...EXAM Week... study study study!! good luck to all people taking their exams..and oh! their going to watch a movie, then go for a drinking session, I'm not allowed to come, because its a drinking session.
I cant sleep last night...hay! how long must this thing go on?...err...
hawak kamay is playing, people..errr.. i mean my friends hates that song. I don't care! I like it as much as they hate it
plans for today...draw! and be alone..at that creepy room...hay! at least, if there really is something there... that's good!! you ll be my company for the rest of the day... why not try showing yourself eh? then I'll be freaking scared. hahaha!!
I made a letter for him...its the simplest letter Ive made so far... and that cute bottle everybody wants?...hahahaha!! sorry! somebody has his name on it already. *you know who*
plans for tomorrow? go home....? uhh! do i really have too?
i texted jane about that thing last night... haha! weird boyfriend, hope he gets what he deserves! am i evil?...
I'M GOING TO DRAW TODAY!!!!...and the rest of the day... I'm bored... everyday, grr!! I'm pissed... and I'm depressed! err.. not depressed! well i don't know! I have a weird mood
onee chan?...she was chatting with me last night... I wasn't able to talk nicely, because of this crappy mood!! grrr! she's worried... well don't be..because I'm fine. and I'm sorry... you have to bear with this attitude of mine, I hope this ends soon...
could I be...possessed?!! nyahahaha!!
OK! I've decided! I don't want to go home...errr!! my cellphone is broken..again!!! oh crap!
hay! now I miss school...
Posted by The Star of Hope @ 11:24 AM
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
[mood 
sad]
Im not feeling very well today, its not because Im sick or anything, Im not really sure and I can't explain it either
Im feeling a bit down, I dont know why...maybe this is not my day after all
I woke up..and found nobody at home except for her grandparents, I stayed at her parents room... well, actually before that i went at tita jeng's place to use the net...I publihed my latest blog update which was made last night. It was...wierd! anyway its there already so I dont really care.
have you ever experienced having a nightmare while youre awake?...
I was lying on the bed..all alone, wide awake...when I felt something cold on my nape...it was the weirdest feeling, I can feel my heart throbbing. I cried. hay! I wasnt scared...I dont know what it was
Im depressed for no reason...
Im sorry everyone...Im not really in the mood to post...
Posted by The Star of Hope @ 8:53 PM
okay]