sakura ephemeries

2007-01-13T11:06:00.000+08:00

[mood okay]

This day didn't start so well actually. It all started when I left the house without my cellphone, I went straight to school as planned, and did what I had to do as quick as I can ( I know he was worried and mad). I was stressed and in a rush. But I can't just go back for it, it would consume so much time.

So my job at school was over. I headed straight to him only to find out that he wasn't home, he just left 5 or 10 minutes ago, and for the next 10 seconds my mind was blank. I thought his Tita was joking. Minutes later I decided to text him on his tita's cellphone. As expected, he was mad and worried, after 45 minutes of waiting he arrived. He was still mad, I didn't know what to say so i stayed still and quiet until he calmed down. It was my fault for being so stupid and forgetful.

But everything went well right after, we went to SM North to buy Amigo's food and bedding, after that we went to the movie house to look for a good movie to watch... and guess what?!...

The ever so GREAT and FANTASTIC fantasy movie... ERAGON!!!

Hay... Before watching we decided to stay at Quantum and for me to watch him play a game called Virtual-On. Ooohh.. though I'm not really familiar with the game, I should say...

He was AMAZING!!!... after watching some other players I could see that he was the only one good enough to play a nice game with.

Aw.. and I love to watch him play... its like me at the back of my mind...

HAHAHAHA!!! WALA KAYO SA BOYFRIEND KO!!! gg...

Anyway... 'nuff boasting

We decided to take a snack for our movie at McDonald's and later proceeded to watch the movie... so what is it about the movie? The graphics and everything else about it were fine except that it was very predictable, he was right when he said that everything in that story can be seen in every fantasy stories. It's like a compilation of cliche fantasy scenes... hehe...

I was able to understand the story well maybe because of its kiddie quality. Someone like me with a very low vocabulary skill was able to comprehend something like that only means that it was made for kids. ^_^ yup!! Easy to understand.

Well.. it wasn't just the movie to enjoy actually, everything else is worth enjoying when I'm with him. I remember the first time we met, it was at that mall, at the arcade hall and at the movie house too. I was very happy that time because I finally got to be with him. The moment I'd waited for, that I got to hold him, proof that he was only mine. I LOVE HIM.. and I treasure every moment with him, it's the only time I feel safe, happy and relieved.

The movie ended and so was my reminiscing moments. It was late and its time to go home.

Everything worthy to call a day was only the time that I was with him. Many other things had happened right after but those weren't important. It was just a matter of choosing to forsake someone over the one I love...

Well.. actually there's no need to choose, it's natural.

It was never in my mind, not even a single molecule of thought, that I'd choose someone else over him. He's just plain too important for me to hurt. And there's no other reason behind that... except...

I love him... hehe... simple as that.

2007-01-11T13:40:00.000+08:00

[mood thoughtful]

Its been days since my last update, in the course of those days, many things have happened. I'll start on the day when we went to Bataan. Well i should say, those days were kinda sad...? Somehow, it was on the 4th of January when I found out that my grandmother already died, it was at around 10 in the morning when my Tita called me on the phone and told me the dreadful news, I didn't believe her at first since at that time my Ate Telma just texted me that my grandmother was fine. So it was kinda hard for me to accept, I cried... a lot. Then I told Rex what happened, but I made sure that before talking to him I should settle myself down first. So after that simple talk with him about death and life I felt much better, and learned that the best thing to do is to accept what happened...

So we decided to go to Bataan on the 6th for her burial. Those days were really hard for me since I don't get to see him and talk to him, well, somehow it's ok because I get to speak with him on the cellphone, hay... So I was there, I stared at my grandmother's coffin, it was painful to see her there. but as I said, I already accepted it and decided to let her go, for the sake of her happiness and to relieve her from her miseries of this world. I love her, it wasn't that hard for me to let her go since I know, I was able to make her feel that I love her, hay... At least I was able to take care of her, like what i promised once I graduated as a nurse. there was this one nursing skill I was able to apply when I was taking care of her at the hospital: "BED BATH".... Hay... I wanted to do much more. But I never had the chance do to it.

Hay... 'nuff drama.

We stayed there for 5 days, I wasn't able to do much for the burial since I really don't have anything to do there. I check for my grandmother once in a while but most of the time I'd stay on my Mamang's house.

During my stay, there was this guy, who was very persistent in taking my cellphone number. I said no, I'm not allowed, someone will get mad and etc. In a nice way but he keeps on insisting, to the point that he'd follow me everywhere I go and try to talk to me still asking for the same thing. (I hate it) my answer was still the same.. NO!!!.. But he was still insisting it.

Hay... He gave me no choice so I decided to give him a number not mine but Rex's (haha! sha na bahala sa makulit na yun).

Anyway, on the fourth day of our stay there Rex was with us. I was glad, yet guilty, because I kept on insisting that he should come.

*talk about being selfish*

I wasn't able to consider his situation, that I'm giving him the stress of his life, though if ever he'd say no I'd understand. But still, he didn't and decided to come, when at that very moment he wasn't feeling well.

Hay.. stupid me (as usual).

And so it happened, he stayed with us for one night until it was time for the burial. I was happy, but the feeling of guilt stayed until the time he got home. I'm sorry, I told myself that something like that will never happen again.

Over two weeks' worth of updates! Next post upcoming!

2006-12-31T22:39:00.000+08:00

[mood rejuvenated]

new year... new life? (nge).

i don't really have a new years resolution, well I don't want one because i tend not to do it. and plus, if i want to change something, i don't need another new year to do it. ne?!

well of course there's so many things in 2006 that I'll never forget. yup! for me. its the most memorable year of all. I'm happy that this year is over, that i was able to surpass another year of this miserable life ( in our house), well my life was never miserable. I'm happy. there's so many things to celebrate on new year than my family. because i have my friends, my second family and... him.

and now, as I approach this coming year 2007, I'm looking forward to a healthier and a less stressful life. Why?....... because I have him, there's no reason to stress my self out when I'm with him. yes. specially when he said that he's going to stay. forever

----------------

hay.. so new year's eve is here. whats so special about it? then again, that's what i would always say before. yeah! same old noisy firecrackers and pretty fireworks that I've always wanted to see with same old noisy and annoying people of our community. speaking of annoying try peaking at our house ( you'll see whats really annoying).

and yet. i know. that's not what its all about, yes! this day is special. though I feel lonely, well not that lonely, I have him, I spent my new years eve hours with him, specially when my sister surprised me with a phone call with him on the other line.
I WAS SO HAPPY... well isn't it obvious? i got so excited I didn't know what to say when he answered it.. (weird sister).. well I'm weird too... whats the deal?

so we decided to watch the pretty fireworks instead. yes! they were really pretty, that's all i could say

there were people in front of us, playing with firecrackers, we laughed at them, well, we cant help it. they were really funny. that kid who seemed so happy to the point that he was dancing in the middle of the street, but later found out that a firecracker was exploding in his foot. he's happiness turned into embarrassment when he started to jump he's way out of the firecrackers.

hahahahaha!!! I don't usually laugh at peoples mistakes, but at that time I just cant help it. if you had only seen it yourself you'd also laugh.

OK. enough about laughing. after the loud noises and noisy firecrackers. new years eve was finally over. yup! 2007 is here.

so to start the year. I WOULD LIKE TO GREET EVERY ONE A HAPPY AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR.

well

that's what everybody says ^_^.. hehe

2006-12-27T20:52:00.000+08:00

[mood happy]

its been days since my last update, and yes! Christmas had passed, "so whats so special about it?" -- well that's how I would always say it

whenever this kinds of occasions happen, even on my own birthday. but now. I could say that this Christmas is different. why? even though I wasn't

able to enjoy it for these past few years, that the real essence of that day was absent. (it has always been ever since).

still....

I could say that I was Happy... really happy, Like a child who's always excited for Christmas, even without gifts, money and etc -- Christmas was

never about that,

My Christmas eve was spent on my room, with our hamster amigo and my good, old universal cellphone. yes! my Christmas was spent with him,

though he wasn't physically there, we texted each other the whole time... I was such a fool for almost destroying my Christmas just because of the common stressful things at our house (you know what I mean). and I thank him for that, he made me realize that we are not just plain celebrating

for our family, and for the lord but also for us... that we have each other and were together.

hun,,, thank you for saving my Christmas

and to all those who made an effort to greet me, either in my cel or in YM... thanks a lot,

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL... ^_^

oh.. and to my onee sama.. she made this new layout of my blog and all i can say is...

AWWWWW!!!! ITS SOOOOOO CUTE!! thank you onee sama thank you very much ^_^

2006-12-19T16:54:00.000+08:00

[mood distressed...yet mellow]

several days have passed and so many things have happened..

and all those things are considered worthwhile..may it be good or bad. even though it scared me a lot, when I thought that there's nothing I could do for it...for him...for us. as I said before... I'll keep on holding as long as i could. I'll try anything and everything. My Goal is nothing more than his happiness

konna ni tsumetai tobari no fukaku de
anata wa hitori de nemutteru
inori no utagoe sabishii nohara wo
chiisa na hikari ga terashitetaanata no yume wo miteta
kodomo no you ni waratteta
natsukashiku mada tooku
sore wa mirai no yakusokuitsuka midori no asa ni
itsuka tadoritsukeru to
fuyugareta kono sora wo
shinjiteiru kara
Fields of hopeumarete kita hi ni dakishimete kureta
yasashii ano te wo sagashiteru
inori no utagoe hitotsu kiete mata hajimaru
tayorinaku setsunaku tsuzukuitsuka midori no asa e
subete no yoru wo koete
sore wa tada hitori zutsu
mitsukete yuku basho dakaraima wa tada kono mune de
anata wo atatametai
natsukashiku mada tooi
yasuragi no tame ni
Fields of hopenatsukashiku mada tooi
yakusoku no nohara
Fields of hope
Fields of hope

~~song by miss Tanaka Rie, FIELDS OF HOPE

Beneath a veil so cold,
You deeply sleep, all alone
The melody of prayer; on the lonely fields,
a little light shined I watched as you dreamed
You laughed like a child
So dear, and yet so far -
That is the promise of our future That one day, on a green morning,
One day, we will make it there
Because in this wintered sky
We still believe
Fields of Hope On the day we were born, we were embraced
And now we search for those gentle hands again
The melody of prayer; one vanishes,
And all begins again; a powerless, painful continuation One day, to that green morning,
We'll cross through all these nights
Because that is the place each one of us searches for Now, within my own heart,
I want to keep you warm
So dear, and yet so far -
In the name of peace
Fields of Hope So dear, and yet so far -
The fields of promise
Fields of Hope
Fields of Hope

I love this song... I just found it while browsing on IMEEM, there's something about this song, and its content fits just right to my mood right now, I may not be able to understand it fully or the exact meaning it conveys. but on that specific line

"We'll cross through all these nights
Because that is the place each one of us searches for Now, within my own heart,
I want to keep you warm"

says it all...

I LOVE YOU...

..................................

OK... so now I'm here, in front of the computer, waiting and waiting for that time, that specific time, for that someone from faraway to call and set me free and use the TELEPHONE!!!!

OH MY GOD!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! but... but.. i really really want to use it... it may be so selfish of me but what the heck?! I wasn't able to talk to him for these past few hours... dies~

hay... yes I admit it, "adik na kung adik", I don't really know how to say it properly but I'm sure you'll all understand... so there's nothing left for me to do but to wait, hay, it seems like its a never ending waiting process!!.. ahhh I WANT TO RIDE A PLANE AND CRASH!!!! (lol) -- i got this line from a friend, Michelle... she was so stressed and she just suddenly shouted. haha *that line*, and at that time it was only a few hours away until her departure to Kuwait. we just thought. what if it really happens?, should we mourn for her death? or laugh because that was the exact same thing she wanted... haha! I know its just a joke, or a stress reliever, hmm..oh well... why am i talking about it in the first place?.. I have no plans on riding a plane

~_~ weird

I just received a testimonial from Dave at friendster... the one I asked for a long time ago, and I never expected it to be...uhh..how should i say this.. offending? yes that's it! and Rex sure didn't liked it, I know it was just a joke and he knows it as well, but as he said... its not proper to say something like that on a publicly viewed profile, and the mere fact that I'm a girl and he's a guy gives it a sense of being manner less... uhhh... am i too much?, its over anyway. and I'm sorry because I'm not keeping the testimonial. Ill talk to him later when I get the time.

there... so whats my next plan?... oh! i just remembered, I'm all alone.. at our room, but I'm not scared, because I have ueki, sasha and amigo with me ^_^, and ash?.. oh he keeps on running away and I bet he's hungry by the time he gets back..(poor ash)

hay..I feel lonely whenever I sleep alone (except at our house in cavite), but imagination always comes in handy..^_^ (hahaha)

OK..the situation is still the same...I'm still not free to use the telephone!... but later I will be.. hay... just later.

2006-12-14T11:24:00.000+08:00

[mood indescribable...and bored]

still...I'm not feeling well

same feeling as yesterday... I'm here at tita jengs place... using the net as usual, havent eaten anything yet... no appetite, i guess! flo left early today, as always...EXAM Week... study study study!! good luck to all people taking their exams..and oh! their going to watch a movie, then go for a drinking session, I'm not allowed to come, because its a drinking session.

I cant sleep last night...hay! how long must this thing go on?...err...

hawak kamay is playing, people..errr.. i mean my friends hates that song. I don't care! I like it as much as they hate it

plans for today...draw! and be alone..at that creepy room...hay! at least, if there really is something there... that's good!! you ll be my company for the rest of the day... why not try showing yourself eh? then I'll be freaking scared. hahaha!!

I made a letter for him...its the simplest letter Ive made so far... and that cute bottle everybody wants?...hahahaha!! sorry! somebody has his name on it already. *you know who*

plans for tomorrow? go home....? uhh! do i really have too?

i texted jane about that thing last night... haha! weird boyfriend, hope he gets what he deserves! am i evil?...

I'M GOING TO DRAW TODAY!!!!...and the rest of the day... I'm bored... everyday, grr!! I'm pissed... and I'm depressed! err.. not depressed! well i don't know! I have a weird mood

onee chan?...she was chatting with me last night... I wasn't able to talk nicely, because of this crappy mood!! grrr! she's worried... well don't be..because I'm fine. and I'm sorry... you have to bear with this attitude of mine, I hope this ends soon...

could I be...possessed?!! nyahahaha!!

OK! I've decided! I don't want to go home...errr!! my cellphone is broken..again!!! oh crap!

hay! now I miss school...

2006-12-13T20:53:00.000+08:00

[mood sad]

Im not feeling very well today, its not because Im sick or anything, Im not really sure and I can't explain it either

Im feeling a bit down, I dont know why...maybe this is not my day after all

I woke up..and found nobody at home except for her grandparents, I stayed at her parents room... well, actually before that i went at tita jeng's place to use the net...I publihed my latest blog update which was made last night. It was...wierd! anyway its there already so I dont really care.

have you ever experienced having a nightmare while youre awake?...

I was lying on the bed..all alone, wide awake...when I felt something cold on my nape...it was the weirdest feeling, I can feel my heart throbbing. I cried. hay! I wasnt scared...I dont know what it was

Im depressed for no reason...

Im sorry everyone...Im not really in the mood to post...

2006-12-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

[mood nostalgic]

I just updated my blog a while ago... I just thought its actually OK to post two updates in one day...so here goes

right now... I cant really tell how to describe my mood, but I'm sure its something that contradicts the other one.

sometimes it just cant be helped. No matter how many times he tells me, assures me, holds my hand and guarantees that there's nothing to be afraid of. there's something... just something that wont make me at ease.

I remember a friend.

She loves this guy, who happens to be in love with another girl. girl number 1 never told him how she really felt, not a single word. She knows very well that the guy and his beloved *girl number 2* were very happy together. She never interfered, instead supported him for her. She loves him so much that she chose to stay quiet *for good* but beneath that silence lies what she really feels

I understand that when you love someone, you cant help it but to make him/her feel special, give extra attention and would do anything to make that person happy.

that was all she could do. Though its painful, she made a choice and decided to bear all of it just for the sake of the guy's happiness. It didn't took that long for her to accept that he was not hers or will never be hers. She was there for him. All the time, though she thought to herself that the only way to recover is to forget. unknowingly, she was still waiting.

several months had passed. All things were still at place, until there was this unexpected day. He went to her and confessed, he realized that all this time, it was her whom he really loves. She was happy but was in doubt. She asked what happened to the both of them *I'm referring to the guys past relationship*. He answered saying that he was unsatisfied and unhappy with her and that he had already thought to himself that it was her *girl number 1* who would really make him happy.

So it happened... They were happy being together. Girl number 2 was left alone, her feelings were genuine but they didn't last long. It was a sad break-up, by a single text it all came to an end. He just left with out any reason, All things remained uncleared. She was sad, rather mortified. She had no chance to keep him. There's nothing left for her to do but to cry. It seemed like she wont make it but she tried and eventually did.

It was a sad ending for her and a happy ending for the both of them. So why Am I sharing this story?! hay... maybe this is what Ive always been afraid of. I was able to witness almost every angle of the situation and i could say that my mere presence seems somehow relates to the actual experience itself.

I cannot say that the problem was all to blame on the guy. I know him, and I should say... He's mature, intelligent and reasonable enough that even I cant imagine that he would allow such thing to happen.

"LOVE is the bane of HONOR"
-(first sentence) Maester Aemon Targaryen, of Castle Black.

As I ponder on my friends experience, one question popped-out in my mind

"Cant pure Love alone save a relationship?"

I stayed still...moments later this thought came to me.

That its true, LOVE alone can't endure the ultimate relationship. It was there at the beginning or even before it begins, until it ends or will it end? But that was just the outset of everything. All depends on the beholder. will he/she keep and nurture it? or will leave it as is until it fades and becomes null?...

I'm no expert that's why I cant fully say that all these are valid. I may be naive and have not seen the full adulterated side of everything. But one thing is for sure, Being AFRAID doesn't signify COWARDLINESS but rather a call to take a step. I am still young and I believe that I have plenty of time to take every step that would lead to the completion of my self-actualization.

I may be afraid right now but it doesn't mean that I'll tremble myself away. Fright wont withdraw in me with simple assurance alone, though it could be one factor, for it boosts my courage to face it.

I AM AFRAID...REALLY AFRAID

but as they say... "you may never know unless you try"
<--- may konek ba? hehe

OK! so after that never ending drama of the ever so weird and bloody blog of mine...hay! I was relieved...

OMG!!! Ive never thought that it'll be this long?!...maybe i really am in the mood to practice my English... hehe!

enjoy! or rather... BE BORED

2006-12-12T19:26:00.000+08:00

[mood bouncy]

hello readers... right now...I'm not feeling very well

but anyway...I'm not going to ruin this beautiful day just because of that?..I'm happy today...and yesterday as well...because i always see him and i get to be with him everyday, uhh erm..since Monday actually, *not sure for the following days* we stayed at his place...at his room...i draw, he writes, then we do something on the computer...

haha...reminds of that guy his chatting with

he actually believed that he was a girl.. when he placed my picture on the image display section on yahoo messenger, oh! and he even showed him his web cam just for him to see...and of course. I was the one there, typing whatever he says...hahahaha!! *ang sarap manloko*

OK enough about that, I've finished the sketch of aoikaze, and he looks like kobasen *according to him*..hay! I'm not sure if he liked it, I mean...It didn't turned out as how it want it to be...hay! maybe I didn't put enough reiatsu on that work...

"don't tell me my skills are fading?!" NOOOOO!!! practice!! that's what i need..I MUST!!! hahahaha! and I'm going to do it TONIGHT!!!! well.not only tonight..but every night..no! then i wont be able to sleep...so everyday maybe? ^_^ and some nights..haay!

HAHAHAHA!!! now my mood starts to shift to hyper...hahaha and I'm starting to feel well already, weird!

i wanted to do many things..and i want to buy that ________ thing! its my Christmas project...well its my gift, for him...he said that he's not the type who accepts gifts from girls *am i included?* so i decided to do that instead..its also a gift...but its not something you could just buy at the mall or something...i want something unique, something nobody else could have but him...and something he would like...hehehe! something red?! *nge ano to?! monito-monita?* before i was planning to give him a red towel or something he could always use like a hanky or something...but i thought...he has lots of hanky...and plus! he already told me. "i don't accept gifts from girls" hay!..i understand...but i have other plans...hehehehe *gg*

and i just found out...michelle got left by the plane...hay! but its OK now...she'll be leaving err...right about..NOW!...when i received the message i didn't know what to say...should i laugh? or feel sorry for her...hay! am i a bad friend?

anyway...I'm really disappointed with my self...I'm actually distracting him, i always stay at his place that's why he couldn't write his updates for tsubasa, i want to see him...and be with him...everyday!...but that's not right! because it'll be the cause for his overdue updates..and that's not good...*cries* I'm sorry...

hay....now my mood suddenly shifts to frustrated...that's why i wanted to draw a sketch of all his characters, so that we'll be able to do something at his place. we'll talk about the character designs, the changes needed and everything. i want to be productive...i know I'm not yet that qualified to start a manga, but in time...i know...i will be *wahahahaha!! lines to ng mga bida sa anime ah*

anyway enough about drama...mei onee chan texted me today, it was a quote..it was very sweet of her to remember me..although i don't get to reply to her messages. I'm very happy to receive one from her...and those little things she do is very much appreciated...hehehe.. i love you onee chan

so...is flo still mad at me? hay! i accidentally turned off her computer while she was doing her blog update...she lost three paragraphs, waaa! I'm sorry..i hope you're not mad at me anymore..i'll buy your favourite CHUPA CHOOPS ^_^ *hehe sinuhulan pa daw e*

though my mood for today, or while writing this update seems to shift from time to time...

generally! MY DAY IS GREAT!

2006-12-10T19:31:00.000+08:00

[mood excited]

today..is a rainy day..haha!

so its boring...no other plans but to stay at home, and be bored, together with those people who are also bored and yet! here comes my cellphone with the messages that makes up my day *you know what i mean*

i decided to draw instead...i made a sketch of aoikaze-character from his story(TSUBASA REVERSE), but it was only an attempt i still need to consult him for more details and changes. it was a sample poster. a practice for the upcoming poster i was about to make for him. Nive served as the background together with Seles. i need to practice my drawing skills..or else it'll fade, then i wont be able to make a manga for him "AND I WONT LET THAT HAPPEN"...haay..anything...just anything to please him

most of my time was spent on that sample poster, but i already started on my first ever sketch of tsubasa revolution-a love story *I'm not done yet* haay..its still raining...oh..its been raining since last night. reminds me of that message

hay! here i go again...this bothersome yet powerful..."JEALOUSY!" i don't know...whenever i think about her, it reminds me of that day...err..i mean that night...up until now? I'm still bothered by that thing...he already told me many times...and i believed him, so there's no reason for me to feel that way..haay! sakura that's bad...tsk tsk tsk!

i wish i could just forget about it...

anyway..back to my day...its still raining...*err kelan ba to titigil?!*, that moment i was craving for an umbrella, i want to go out! go the the net shop and chat with him... so there was no umbrella...fine, i rushed to our neighbour to see my mom and ask for an umbrella, i got wet... but it was OK... so i waited for my sister...who happens to have my my umbrella with her haay! enough about umbrella's!!

i was able to go the the net shop anyway...hahahaha!

as usual, what is it to do on an Internet shop? chat, browse, download..oh! everybody was there at the conference, except for flo...hahaha..she's doing something else *gg* something not everybody is suppose to know hahahaha! *peace flo*

so the day ends there

imagine!! i wasted almost all of my reiatsu just for this?...

anyway..its OK..because tomorrow will be a great day for me...hahaha

I LOVE YOU hun..^_^

2006-12-09T20:14:00.000+08:00

[mood touched]

OK..its been days, so what is it about today?

i woke up in bed...suffering from muscle ache, text a good morning to my beloved...and did the my common routine after waking up

i was not able to eat breakfast, because i woke up late just in time for lunch..so i ate lunch instead...hay...so the day starts to be boring again, until there's such time when a message from my beloved came out of my cellphone - the day begins to be worthwhile

so after that...my mom left, jane and her mom as well(oh! its her mom's b day)... and my moms ever so amazing, fantastic and responsible boyfriend asked my tito for a drinking session ( i was being ironic)

OK...so i decided to go to a nearby Internet shop... logged in my Yahoo messenger...my beloved was there (naks beloved)...hay enough na nga yan!!...ok and my onee chan as well, i was there for like..4 hours? and all i did was chat, browse, download...and i was actually planning to update my friendster profile...i was almost there! when the computer broke...aww! i wasted most of my reiatsu trying to write it in english..and then!! and then...errrr....ah forget it!!

so my world for today spins on the net...when I'm was chatting with my beloved, we talked about lots of stuffs, mostly about the characters of tsubasa... he asked me to make a poster for him. ohh I'm excited!! i want to make it good... I'm going to give my best for it...for him...hay...anything to please him, so there...while we were chatting i was chatting with mei too, and she got pissed, when she asked me to look at her new blog layout...i wasn't able to look at it right away...errr...its not that I'm neglecting her or something, but..it was just delayed...that's all...

I'm really sorry onee chan...i didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel that way

but she forgave me when i said sorry, she always forgives me, hay...I'm always forgiven...I'm just afraid that...well..uhhh...just forget it

OK...so i went back home...to eat, hay...no appetite! as usual...why is it always have to be that guy?...errr

so i decided to leave again...and this time with my sis...

i was laughing so hard i cant stop!!...my sister's in love with my bf's younger brother...ahahahaha!! she was shocked when i told her that the guy was Rex's brother, and that they're together in one room...ahahahaah!!! up until now I'm still laughing, she was so embarrassed!!! waahahahaha...

hay...so the day is about to end...

I'm happy...because nicole understands me, tough she was shocked...i tought she'd be mad, or pissed, but she said, she understands me...no other explanations needed, since she knows me a lot...I'm happy!! she welcomed my bf in the conference, my friends talked to him nicely, just as how we would talk when were together, she said, from now on.. his part of the circle too ^_^...

i love them... i was wrong when i thought to myself that they're going to hate me, leave me or not talk to me... i know... they're not like that, they're not just any friends from college... we've been together for about 4 years now, they'd understand me more than i expected, I'm happy i have them... their different... they're the ones who have always been there to bear my weirdness, they didn't care...they accepted me as i am...

hay! i miss them... oh! were planning to meet on 22, and on that day...i want them to meet him (my beloved), if he's available

OK! speaking of him...i miss him so much... so i read his story...again, for the nth time, but i miss him much more after reading the story... waaahhh...Monday!!! I'm craving for Monday!!...haaaay

OK...so the day has ended...well..not really, I'm planning to practice drawing when i get back

so that it for today...enjoy my ever so weird update ^__^

2006-12-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

[mood loved]

wow...its been a while since my last update here...

ok...so lets start from the very beginning of the day...so i should say, this is my most awaited day of the week, and tomorrow will be as well...know why?, because i stayed at his place and spent all my time with him...yes! i was very happy, so happy that im still smiling even though my cat bit me and it was bleeding *errr...BAD ASh!* ouch!...

and oh yeah, the story he made that he said was for me? i was finally able to read it, ive been very excited since the time he told me he's going to make one for me, it was a love story, though the ending was a tragedy, it really touched me, yes! i loved it! not only because he was the one who made it, but because of how the story was made, the message it conveys, how the words were constructed to represent each emotion within the story...yes! it really is a masterpiece!...it was made not only for me but for all people as well, for my friends, and for those who will read it...yes! his story tells us only one thing...for us, and for all those who are capable of feel love,

that even though love gives us pain, it will always be defeated by the joy felt when both have realized their purpose, motivation and goal of finding one another was finally fulfilled, that even for that short time, they were able to see and feel each other...that short time...will never be forgotten and will always be treasured...yes! thats how powerful love can be...just the same as mine for him

ok...now im excited...i wanted people to read it...my friends, my family ^if they would^, and kuya james ^hoping to realize that love isnt just pain and headache*

and oh yeah..before i forget...the tittle of the story is TSUBASA REVOLUTION.. it will soon be published at fiction press and i hope that people who will visit my blog will read it...

click here

^sigh^...

today...is all about being happy and contentment...

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH...

2006-11-25T11:11:00.000+08:00

[mood depressed]

a boy liked a girl but wanted
to make
her
jealous.

Then one day

things went terribly wrong.

The next few weeks

were like a very sad

song.

He made her jealous

on purpose he tried.

When the girl asked, "Do you love her?"

on purpose he lied.

He played with jealousy

like it was a game.

Little did he know

Things would never be the same.

His plan was working

but he had no clue.

How wrong things would go,

the damage he would do.

One night she broke down,

feeling very

alone.

Just her and the blade,

no one else home.

She dialed his number,

he answered, "Hello"

She told him she loved him

and hung up the phone.

He raced to her

house

just a minute too late.

Found her lying in blood,

her heart

had no rate.

Beside her was a note,

in it her confession.

Her love for this boy,

her only obsession.

As he read the note,

he knelt down and cried.

Grabbed her knife,

that night they both died.

She was found in his arms,

both of them dead.

Under her

note

his handwriting said:

"I loved her

so, she never knew.

All this time

I loved her

too."

~ i got this poem on my friendster bullettin board...and right now...this may be the right thing to post in my blog...errr

non sense

2006-10-28T17:01:00.000+08:00

[mood discontent]

today...im here...in front of the computer..awwwwwwwww!!! IM so happy...at last!!! after all my cravings and droolings for VAMPIRE KNIGHT!! i already have the manga!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

and now..i wont leave this chair until i havent finished reading it...

m..must...re..resist reading! v..vampire knight!!

waaaaaaaaaaaaa...im actually forgeting everything because of this...waaaaaaaaaa...well there's nothing i could do...i might as well just finish it...

anyway...ok...while im reading the manga...Im posting at the forums as well..chatting to my forum mates and lots more...nyay!

sigh...ow! were actually planning to take measurements on 30...it seems so sudden, but for me...maybe i'll stick on taking-my-own-measurements=with-our-nearest-modista plan...same as them..Im also excited...hopefully, i get to do this well *although matagal pa sha*

ohhhhhhhhhh!!!! im so excited...anyway..i think i'll go back to reading the manga...

i'll talk about it later on my next post...most probably ive already finished reading it ^^,

2006-10-24T18:05:00.000+08:00

[mood thankful]

I woke up in Bed, it was around 10:30 in the morning, late huh? well... what can I do?! I have my night class ^^, *just kidding* I always stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning..I dont know why ...it seems that my body has already adapted in that kind of lifestyle ^^, weird huh?, well...maybe Im just plain active at night

anyway...back to reality...so there I was in front of the computer, guess what?!...Ichiraku forums...yeah! thats right! hmmm..ever since we planned our cosplay group in Vampire Knight I've always hang out in there..I dont know..its just plain Fun talking to my forum mates

OH yeah! good news ^^, guess what?!..I get to cosplay MARIA KURENAI kyaaaaa!!! I'm so happy!! this is how my dress will look like

kana^^, she gave her to me, she said that she'll be cosplaying Seiren instead ^^, she's really nice...*thank you kana!* and by the way, kana is my school mate! at TUA...and she said that she's happy that we'll be joining the group..well..I'm happy as well..to cosplay is one of my ULTIMATE DREAM *Im happy there's someone to fulfill it for me*...thanks a lot beibi^^, and all I got to do is wait...wait for that day...

errr...well actually, we have no target date yet...but anyway were going to cosplay at any event we like at 2007 ^^, IM SO EXCITED..i cant wait...i cant wait i want my dress to be made already *err..isnt that too much?* we still have lots of problems though, like we dont have our reference color for the other characters yet...and we havent talked about our plan for the event yet...Im not sure...i think there will be photoshoots of some sort..coz there is this some sort of screening for the cosplayers...*sigh* im so excited I talk about it a lot...errr

anyway..that'll be all for the day, I guess ^^, my world is spinning around the internet nowadays...^^,

2006-10-21T13:04:00.001+08:00

[mood nostalgic]

*sigh*

today is tasha's b day...unfortunately...we were not able to come due to common circumstances...*you know what i mean* -mega katamaran!!!!

ok enough about that...im watching honey and clover today ^^, the opening song is cute -lots of food-*yummy*...after that, there's paradise kiss of course..my favourite^^,

anyway...there's this new manga..somewhat similar to TRINITY BLOOD, cause it has the word vampire there...nah! not just that, the uniform is somewhat simliar to the orden somehow

and oh yeah..there are some change of plans, were planning a cosplay group of VAMPIRE KNIGHT-the manga im talking about...take a look!!!

clicky clicky

great huh...

i wanted to be maria kurenai...she's perfect, i dont have to cut my hair..and she's the one i really like...take a look

clicky clicky

hehe...enough about VK...i went to check out my friends artworks in deviant art..well..i should say...they really are some artist!!...if you want to check it out..just click them at my orden links then look at their deviant art links ^^,

really cool...*i even kept some of them in the computer*

im planning on creating my deviant art account too...well...that is...if i had the time to scan myy drawings..and im not really allowed to put my untittled drawings there *for protection purposes*...

im currently at ichiraku ramen right now...its just now that i decided to be active in the forums again...for the cosplay event...errrr...but unfortunately T_T i was too late...goodbye maria...wow! people there are really nice...though i dont really know them..they asked me *specifically nyanko*..if i were mei's original friend...hmmm she said it was only a guess...hmmm the word original? hmmm hehe kinda flatters me^^,*giggles*

ok...thats it for today...more ichi ichi to come^^,

2006-10-17T17:00:00.000+08:00

[mood accomplished]

ok...i just came back from school ^^, and i recieved the results about my grade in anatomy

there are only three options

F- failed

R- removals...it means your grade is not that good you need to take another exam

P- passed

i wasnt really able to see my grade, cause its not allowed...the only thing to find out is if you passed, you failed or you have to take the removals exam

ok....so now i'll tell you...the letter i got was....

*drumming*

*still drumming*

*drumming gets interesting*

TADAAAAAHHHH!!!! I GOT THE LETTER P....yeeeeeey!!!!! it means i passed..i dont need to take the removals exam...and i dont want to take it...i was so fed up with the letter p in my 1/4 yellow paper i wasnt able to peek at my grades *that was my plan*

whew!...if your wondering why im this happy...its because this anatomy thing is really hard for me...you know me...*i even dreamt of being a scholar again* errr...but i guess that wont happen anymore...ok...our anatomy...passing grade is 70%...it would be much easier for me if the passing is 50%...*sigh* but i have to bear with it...thats how they want it

ok...enough about school...its over anyway..exept for the healthcare grade distribution tomorrow *im not sure about that too*.

today is digy's dad's birthday...were planning to go to mass and then go someplace else to eat...ohhhhhh! eat! i like that!...

oh yeah...michelle's with us right now...i mean at the house...its been so long since she visited here..she went here basically to pick up the cage where her hamster died *terry* may he rest in peace...

so...thats it for today

2006-10-13T17:17:00.000+08:00

[mood distressed]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

i just had my finals and ANATOMY, and the lecture was helllllllllll!!!!!!!, it almost killed me back there, but i did my best at the exam, i just dont know if its worth it

anyway...except for the lecture the laboraory was fine, ahhhhhhhh!!! thats enough! i dont want to talk about exams anymore!!! considering i still have my GRAND FINALS on monday

ok...except for the never ending study in anatomy, i never get to do anything else.so what do i write?

oh yeah?! i was planning on doing so many things on my sem break...but i dont think i'd be able accomplish those plans..

errrrrr....

so now what?

oh yeah i remember...i think...this second semester,,,we wont be having anyone to enroll with...i mean! were on our own..

i dont know...

"nakakasawa ata kami kasama"

amfness!!!! it makes me feel sad though...oh well! i dont really care...i have digy anyway...we have each other!! so why do i need someone to enroll with in the first place???

nah!!! forget it!!!!!!

2006-10-12T18:28:00.000+08:00

[mood sad]

whew! what a long skip...anyway, im back, and finally gets to update my blog, ive been very busy this past few days, we are having our finals, i dont know if im doing well, but im sure that im doing my best, i havent had any sleep for a whole week straight, well... not straight, but my sleep hours fluctuates between 1 to 3 hours in every 24 hours of the day

i dont really know how do i keep myself alive

so what should i talk about...oh yeah...wait....

i think im not in the mood to post for now...i dont want to stress my self out anymore

to my friends: jeni, meira, nicole

meira, im sorry! im sorry because i dont get to go online this days, am i missing something? and because my messenger last time was abnormal i dont get to recieve messages properly...

jeni, after my finals i promise that ill go straight to your house to return your cd, and your drawing as well (if you want i'll go and visit you to at your school) just give me an address or something which could get me to you ^^,

nicole, i miss you

2006-10-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

[mood tired]

laundry....laundry....laundry

that's what the day is all about...and not to mention

I NEED SOME SLEEP!!! *seriously*

achievements: was able to get GEORGE out of my mind! *wow!*

ok...That's most of what happened, and somehow, I feel a little relieved since jem had already finished the spotmap *thanks a lot* that's a minus work for me

that's all...thank you

so this is what it means to start the month...what a crap!!

2006-09-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

[mood weird]

today,is suppose to be our study group session, me, digy, bianca and kim are the only ones who came, medge was not able to come because she is to take care of joseph *his lil' bro'* and bianca had problems and was not able to study *she was crying*

so it leaves only the three of us, we discussed the digestive system,it was ok, I've learned a lot, we stayed at the nursing library all day long. bianca was there too. she was doing the HC statistics *hope she'll be fine soon*

I kinda like studying there, the only problem is, they make us leave at 12 o' clock just because they're having lunch *weird maintenance* thats how they want it...let them be

we stayed at the other library instead, francis was there, together with hazel and arjay *I don't like seeing him*, then we proceed to study

ok...now lets go home...

medge called me and asked whats up with the study group...then we talked about lots of stuffs *as usual* too many to mention

so the conversation ends then we ate supper

hmmm...I wonder

how come I feel uneasy about this post? is it because GEORGE not in it? nah! maybe im just hungry *again*

whatever

since I'm feeling a bit weird right now maybe I should end the post

2006-09-21T22:22:00.000+08:00

[mood bored]

today, is not a very interesting day, however, I've already found out the answer to my question yesterday,
and its...

*drum roll*

*still drumming*

*drumming gets interesting*

and then...

TADAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!It was nothing...yeeey! thats right... nothing happened to the conversation *according to her*

ok! we went to school primarily to attend class in anatomy, since this is our university week, we have no class on CS and Philosophy, so the day starts to be boring again. I've finished studying the digestive system of the laboratory and I'm still on mastication in the lecture

slow huh?

so, today, somehow I've managed to close my mind on anything about GEORGE, its hard to restrict myself from him...I still like him...*cries*

AHHHH! GADDAMIT! just stop thinking about him

ok so one step to take him out of my mind is to talk about the day,

BUT THE DAY IS SO DARN BORING I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!

*sigh*

its been so long since I've been in front of the computer...so now what?

oh come on! lets just end this and proceed to the next day!!

2006-09-20T21:04:00.000+08:00

[mood relaxed]

as I've said, the community exposure is over, so! back to the old and boring classroom, we were tallying the data's we've gathered from our community in PAGRAI, wow...those People doing the job...I envy them, somehow, or maybe they just want to do the job, anyhow, I still think the job is stressful

I'm listening to the song lonely_in_Gorgeous right now, *sigh* whatever I do I just can't get him out of my mind... I should! actually this is not the day to relax, I have to do stuff in anatomy and do a canvas for the spotmap materials, they suddendly moved the submission date, and its next week, *sigh* professors...they can't make up their mind...they give me the most stress in my life..well... next to my mom

ok...

so anyhow, I'm still relaxed, I should make the best out of it, after an hour or two the mood could shift to stressful again...*whew* that's all I can do for now, the day hasn't ended anyway

oh! did I mention medge? she's with dave"cla" right now, they're talking about themselves, what they want to do in the future, how many babies they want or maybe where to go for honeymoon *laughs* I'm just kidding...I'm just exaggerating it, so I'm waiting....waiting....and still waiting, what will be the outcome of their conversation, will it be good? or bad?

nah! whatever it is...its their decision

oh! I just remembered...I should finish the laundry so that we have something to wear for tomorrow,

ok...

after minutes of writing...the mood suddenly shifts to sad...hmmmm

I wonder why?

2006-09-19T22:30:00.000+08:00

[mood indescribable]

I don't really remember much of what happened today, cause my mind is so fed up with george, I've watch paradise kiss again, episode nine and eleven,*my favorite* I just can't say anything about it right now, cause I've already watch it and gave my impression on it. Nothing special actually, I'm just happy to see him

ok...

so maybe I should lessen my mouth when it comes to GEORGE starting from now, I might be hurting somebody else's feelings of some sort *maybe* it means I'll be restricting myself from GEORGE from now on

ok, so I'll start now, while I'm in the computer, I've red one of my friends blog update, specifically meira's *she's the only one updating it* I was strucked by how her dad acted when she went out from her class late, not to mention it was only 15 minutes, I can see that she was really misunderstood, and I don't like it! I know I don't have any right to interfere but it would be better if her dad could be more considerable and be more patient as well, she wasn't doing anything bad, well on the part that she said her dad was getting old, I understand that.

but being more considerable to your daughters feelings would help to make this world a much better place to live in between methuselah's and terran's *nye*

so after that...we went home...I was really happy just before that...

then he called...

hmmmmm....

....

....

....

maybe I won't mention that part anymore

so, this will be the end of my post

2006-09-18T22:49:00.000+08:00

[mood thankful]

Today, I just can't say anything, but one things for sure...I'm really really really HAPPY, I just don't know how to start, I've already watched the whole of PARADISE KISS! And...and...*shouts* *takes a deep breath then sigh* I just don't know what to say...I can't get a hold of myself...I'm so happy I don't know what to say

Oh! Now I know...its GEORGE

I was really touched on one part there, it was at episode 9, it was the time when GEORGE and YUKARI had a misunderstanding, and YUKARI decided to go back to school, they are not seeing each other, it was almost a week, YUKARI was always waiting for GEORGE, but it seems that GEORGE was also waiting for her... errrrr...

Ok so back to the story, GEORGE...finally came to YUKARI, he parked his car in front of YUKARI's school, YUKARI then runs towards GEORGE...she said it was painful not to see him *my heart started aching, I don't know why, now she was there, besides him, the only thing she was able to do was to clung on GEORGE car *it was a convertible American style car* GEORGE was sleeping, he didn't even noticed that she was there already, YUKARI cried, because she missed him a lot, I thought she was still crying when GEORGE woke up, but later I found out that she was actually ill, GEORGE was worried then he immediately took her to the hospital,

I was really touched since I thought that GEORGE never cared for his girlfriend, I was actually wrong on my first impression on him, he really do cares for the one he loves, he's just the type of person who'd never interfere when it comes to personal matters, he believes that things like that should be handled by the bearer alone, as he always says "its your own decision" ^^,

I was really happy to see episode 11 as well, GEORGE was very different on that part, I don't know, but at that time, GEORGE puts all of his trust to YUKARI, it was the event of the fashion show, GEORGE was holding YUKARI's hand, then takes a tight grip on it when it was her turn next, it was the time when YUKARI was able to gather her confidence and realized that she was doing this not for herself but for GEORGE and for her friends as well, I can see that she really did her best, she showed the audience that her beloveds work's the best, well.....it was indeed the best! GEORGE was waiting backstage, when YUKARI's turn was done, GEORGE gave her a big hug, *on that part I felt like crying*

*shouts* I can't take this anymore, my hearts aching again

Ok...the great hug means thank you, well...he actually said it, but I know that hug means something deep. as in....uhhhh...errrrr...well it was because GEORGE's eyes were unusualy enchanting that time, I told you...he was very different

*giggles* I liked him better, though the ending crushed my heart

I don't really care, I'm going it watch it again if I had the chance

By watching the anime, it made me realize something, I don't know, maybe I should pay more attention to "him" it made me realize, that even if that person you dear the most might not be the one who'd make you happy, still, he could be the one who'd cherish you the most *nge! Ang drama!*

I like the anim

Nevertheless

This day was made possible by NINYO...^^, thanks a lot

2006-09-17T16:32:00.000+08:00

[mood | excited]

oh...now its sunday, and as usual, laundry day, nothing much actually except for watching the PARADISE KISS episode 2 in animax, altough i've watched it already i still want to watch it...again...maybe its because i want to see GEORGE...i just found out that many viewers of that anime just dont like him...too bad, well i dont care if they dont like him...i like him as much as they hate him

ok...change topic

we talked about Kana, a girl from ichiraku, who is also from our school, nothing special, im just surprised that meira met a schoolmate, meira does'nt want to join the contest, because there are things at risk..i understand...and were going to have lunch together at september 29...im kinda excited...*giggles* im always excited!...

with ninyo and francis:
we talked about lots of stuffs too, about grades, anatomy, planet bear *our teacher in PE before was included*, about their blog *Tropang walang magawa*, and of course..PARADISE KISS..oh yeah..were going to watch it tomorrow at ninyo's place...and as always "im EXCITED!" we cant watch it anywhere...we dont have a DVD of it...and its embarrasing to watch the whole thing in an internet shop...*you know what i mean* ok...so tomorrow...after lunch...^^, ooooohhhhhhh!!! im really really really excited...well..actually, i want to see GEORGE...i just cant live the day without seeing him...*here i go again*, and thanks to ninyo i'll be able to watch the whole thing...im really happy about it...i just cant wait...you know ninyo, he always do me favors and never ask things in return, im glad i have a friend like him. people like him are rare you know?!

and francis...he was busy reading blogs when we were talking at the conference..^^,

with oliver:
oliver: elo

me: hi

and thats all...^^, good conversation huh?!

so there..things for the day are suppose to end by then...i want a mango juice and a pack of sky flakes...errrr...how should i say this..."im hungry" *stomach crumbling*

2006-09-16T19:54:00.000+08:00

[mood | discontent]

wow...i actually skipped two days...hmmm thats ok, there's actually nothing to talk about those two days, except for recieving my midterm grade in anatomy! *i dont want to talk about it* whew! now lets get to the point, we went to PAGRAI again...and im happy that this will the last time that we go there...i just dont know, people there...well...i dont really like them that much, i mean...uhhhhhh....*i dont want to talk about it*

our activity for today is health teaching...specifically about DENGUE AND FLU, nah! everybody knows about dengue and flu...there's no need to teach them, and plus, they told us that were actually the 3rd or maybe the 4th batch who went barging to their houses doing lectures and stuffs...*so boring* ok...so nevertheless, we still tried to give them some lectures, but we end up being rejected telling us that "some people had already came there and gave them the stupid lecture about those stupid sickness and stuffs"...ok! so we didnt care! after all its our benefit...we just run along, do some talking *about PARADISE KISS of course* then eventually...without even noticing...we were able to reach unit 5...*we were suppose to be until unit 3 only*

ok...so thats it

after that! we did some picture taking, for our spotmap...just to be much more detailed! oh! and im suppose to recieve the pictures today...do you like to see my classmates? *laughs*...

oh! speaking of classmates, a classmate of mine...JEM, well...something happened to her mother...its an accident...i guess so...her mother is in comatose state, 4 veins popped in her brain...thats very sad, i wonder how she's feeling right now, i hope she's alright, and her mother as well

back to the community...so the activity ended, and were about to go home...YEHEY!

so enough about that...i want to talk about paradise kiss, digy already finished reading the episodes, only to find out that the ending was'nt as nice as i expect it to be, they did'nt end up together *GEORGE AND YUKARI* and its wrecking my heart!...and oh! about GEORGE, he's bi, and i also found out that he really is indeed a bad boy...the song [lonely in Gorgeous] fits him..and i also like the song, i always listen to it right now

come to think of it, i kinda like him better as he is, well...those kinds of guys, pretending to be a gentleman, but deep inside them, they are those kinds of guys who likes to play a lot! "you know what i mean"

its not like im in to those kinds of guys right now...its just that...well...its just GEORGE! ok...

so what to say next? oh im also excited about buying the full set of dvd for PARADISE KISS...ive only watched until episode 3...whew! as the others have said, the manga is better, it makes me want to buy the 4 volume manga as well..i wonder? is that expensive?

nah! i'll think about it later...ooohh! about the contest im about to join, i already asked meira about it, she said that its kinda hard to do since its hard to think of a design of our own, well i want to try, there's nothing to loose after all!

i'll ask jeni about it later too...if ever we get to talk, we havent talk to her for a while now, and im kinda bothered by her recently post webjournal, it says "I HATE MY LIFE" its so happened to be that jeni never says "I hate my life" so maybe she's really into something really hard to bear...i wonder if i could do something for her...well... were here in manila and i dont know if i could run to her if ever she'll be needing someone to talk to...hmmm

i hope she's alright...

2006-09-13T20:38:00.000+08:00

[mood | giddy]

ok...today is our third and second to the last trip to PAGRAI, and that means that as early as now, i should be able to be familiar...i mean be able to memorize the place

well....

mainly because im one of the spotmappers, i wanted to make it good, i want win the competetion, i dont know why....maybe because basically...every person want to win a competetion

ok enough about that....

today...nothing much really happened...except for me being humiliated my those stupid, mannerless, maniacs of our community...i dont want to talk about it, it kinda reminds me of my family, and believe me!! "ITS NOT THERAPEUTIC"

im planning on joining the "PARADISE KISS FASHION CONTEST" *is that right?* i need to draw a two piece set of any fashion trends of my own...i wanted HAIA as my model, i wish my friends could join too...they're all very talented!

the deadline is on october 22..im not really sure but i hope that at least i could find time before that...im kinda excited!!!

ok... im off to school work

2006-09-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

[mood | sick]

after a very stressful day yesterday....

ok..today...we had our volleyball championship...and believe me! WE WON!! im so happy about it...winning means being exempted on the officiating and shooting practicals...wow! thats really great...well for me, because i havent passed any practical exams in PE...wow! my teammates are really great...i saw them play...and the only thing i did was to cheer for them...well thats the best i could do...

actually...

i was not able to watch the whole game, we were practicing freethrow shooting that time...by we i meant me, aya, bhadz, medje, kim, sam.....uhhhh....well they're to many to mention so...lets just say...the other girls ^^,

ok after that...the game was done..and as i said...TEAM B WON...*and thats us*....

we practiced some more shooting, and miss PE asked the other guys who's..well should i say...advanced in basketball to teach the other girls...and im one of them...charles was the one who teached me...he said that!

1)bend your knees
2)put force on it
3)jump

hehehe....and luckily...somehow...i was able to follow^^, that means i was able to shoot...

ooooooooohhhhhh...what an achievement!!

ok now PE's done

its time for NSTP...and oh yeah...here we go again...ERDA TUKLASAN! whew! ok! how should i start?

actually?.....

before we get there...we went through lots of....should i call "OBSTACLES OF MISFORTUNE" you know what that means?!

and then finally...we arrived there...just to witness the ever so great children of ERDA TUKLASAN *being sarcastic*

well..should i tell the whole thing? nah! maybe not...its too stressful i cant even talk about it.

ok so maybe this wil be the end of this post....i have something in mind...i need a rest!!!

2006-09-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

[mood | depressed]

im going straight to the point, this day is not a very good day, I felt that I was completely betrayed, I was punished for something I know I do not deserve!!, they lied to me...no! not just to me but to everyone in the class

I wanted to cry....

well...

I did cry! A LOT!! It was so mortifying,I cant help but burst into tears, it was the time of the ever so stressful subject full of stressful, untalented, unethical, egomaniac professors like them! I cant take them anymore! *I wont mention names*

they're like the demons lurking around my peaceful palace, they're like the hands pulling me down until they know that I couldn't stand anymore! They're like shit stuck inside the large duodenum of our cat a while ago in the laboratory

they are shit!

I know their plan! and im not one of those people who'd fall for it...They're just like another enemy in my battlefield, one with claws and fangs, and of course the most ugly ones...They're just like the contra mundi's who'd go for anything just to trigger the fight between my ego...

I did cry...

and I know its a sign of weakness

and I DIDNT CARE AT ALL

it was all part of my plan, im going to show them! im going to show them that im not like another person who'd follow anything and just anything for their desires...they may see me as just someone who'd stay quiet forever and tolerate what they are doing...I know I cant do anything just now but im sure im aiming on something and they're not going to block my way to it....

its not like am really motivated to destroy them but I just want to show them that even if they give me dozens of minuses im STILL GOING TO PASS EVERY EXAM THEY MAKE EVEN IF THEY WONT DISCUSS IT...they suck at it anyway

ok...I know...im really sad about what happened...

but im sure! I DO NOT DESERVE THE MINUS!!!!

maybe that would make me feel fine, even if the minus was already in my record...well its ok...at that time, even if I was at the peak of dying in the class, still DIGY was there to comfort me, *actualy she got the minus to* and it was because of me, she said that she's going to defend me in every struggle I encounter and even if it means making her part of the struggle...

it was very sweet...and somehow it relieved the big water melon stuck in my chest...

actually there was no struggle...only the "shits" in the rectum of our cat are making it

but actually....It was all thanks to DIGY ^^,

----------------------------------

oh! before I forgot...my things to do before thursday

1) print the officiating skills handout
2) make the summary for philosophy reporting
3) do the laboratory manual until reproductive system
4) study anatomy from blood until reproductive system in the lab
5) study disgestive system
6) do the scan print layout
7) fix the information on bloodpressures on PAGRAI last time
8) make a nametag for Sr Mes before the black ink runs out

there...just a little more stuffs to do then im free!

well....not really

2006-09-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

[mood | bored]

ok...this is going to be a very short post...well you see nothing really happened this sunday, we just did the laundry *were supposed to be finished actually*, we studied anatomy, then we slept

thats all....

see? very short

2006-09-09T19:07:00.000+08:00

[mood | content]

I had my second trip to PAGRAI...well i should say, its better than the first one...we went to our families, took their blood pressures and gave them some health advice...hmmm nothing much actually, but at least! oh! and since we finished early, we went hanging around the place fixin' the spot map...it was kinda muddy at the place though, well i didnt actually care, except that i almost slept when were about to go back....*laughs*....ok! so now what should i type?

so whats so special about today? hmmmm...

lets start from the very beginning of the day....

we woke up....went to school, *we thought we'll be left by the bus

we sat on the 3rd sit on the left side of the bus...victor was in front of us, migz, angelo and chabs were at the back...nikko and april is beside us...they were all singing...well actually not all...its actually ok to me...i dont really mind

oh! i actually forgot to make a nametag for Sr mes

*he was requesting for one* - dont misunderstood me! i dont have a crush on him!

ok! then we arrived there...and did what we were supposed to do...the family we worked on was really nice, we were very much welcome at their home, and even expecting us the next week..

then we finished our job, hang around the place, then went back to school...hmmm after school?

we went straight home, pet my cat *ash*, ahhhhhhhh! theres nothing good to say, ok! lets just talk about how i feel today?

today?....im excited for my new blog layout, which meira is offering me, im also pissed off since my blog right now wont let me publish anything!....*well later on it will work*, i also miss my friends and i wish that we could get together sometime...and it will only happen if a suspension comes! I MEAN A GENERAL SUSPENSION!!! you know what i mean?

ahhhhhhhh! its LAW OF UEKI...i like that anime! its really weird..its about power users, chosen by God candidates competing to be GOD, UEKI's power is to turn trash into trees...some powers huh?! i dont really get to watch it everyday...so im not updated on the story...ok! enough T.V so on monday i have my upcoming test on reproductive system, which means i need to go through hell again!!

i think this is going to be a short post...i dont have anything to say anymore...

generally..the day is ok
so i'll be ending this then!.....enjoy! ^^,

*sorry for my grammar*

2006-09-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

[mood | bored]

hi! I'm back...and I'm here to talk about the world of the stupid day September seven two thousand and six...yeah! it stupid, lets start this morning...

we went to school *me and digy*....

wasted 20 pesos for the stupid scan on CS 1o1 assignment which was not even the activity for the day! instead, we went to our classroom and did some stupid computation thing.

as usual....

me! who cant even do simple math, had a hard time doing it...I DON'T HAVE ANY CALCULATOR. and the fact that it was just simple addition and subtraction =.= stupid me!

so there...and i also received my grade for the midterms in CSCW...It was ok, but I'm not contented...

and here comes philosophy...We spend 45 minutes taking the career exam, all it ask was just some if you like this and that question,

here's some sample question..
"paint designs for house and building infrastructures" (L) (l) (d) (D)
"make designs for a sport magazine cover" (L) (l) (d) (D)
"convince people about a product's worth" (L) (l) (d) (D)
"take patients blood pressure" (L) (l) (d) (D)
"counsel people about life problems" (L) (l) (d) (D)
"invent new model for toys" (L) (l) (d) (D)
"plant trees" (L) (l) (d) (D)

(L)-strongly like
(l)- moderately like
(d)-moderately dislike
(D)-strongly dislike

I've taken this kinds of exams before, and believe it or not I got the result of music and arts...*laughs*

ok so then our professor arrives, gave us the lecture for "THE MARCH" then dismissed us...here comes our brake, as usual 12 0' clock! the cafeteria is swarming with terrans *people*, we skipped the eating stuff and went to the library to study instead, by the we I meant me, digy and bianca, at around 1 o clock' we went back to the cafeteria and eat, I ate carbonara *which I think was cooked weeks ago coz it gave me a tummy ache* after eating we went to our classroom to study because the library is full again...

3 o clock' my anatomy class! the time our exam is suppose to take place

30 mins had passed.....*we were sleeping*

and our professor has not yet arrived

then 30 min more....*still sleeping*

and another 30 minutes...*we decided to wake up* she finally came,if our class president didn't call for her

we had our exam, I think I did ok with it except for the laboratory, I was so stupid for not reading the instructions...That's why I failed!...Then here come laboratory, we discussed the ever so exiting "REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM", I was not excited, rather I like to listen *its my mp3's job* so dismissal comes, and we *me and digy* headed straight to our house in cavite, because today was my moms birth day, if I only knew that there really was nothing there I should'nt have come...well! look at the bright side?! we were able to get the weighing scale were suppose to use for our second PAGRAI trip.

after the tiring trip from the "HELL HOUSE" we went straight to sleep...as I said...it was tiring

there goes my not so special and stupid day....enjoy!

*sorry for my grammar*

2006-09-06T22:15:00.000+08:00

[mood | content]

wow! now im finally able to post...after waiting too long for this thing to load, -.- anyway what im about to talk for today is my first ever trip to PAGRAI, a place somewhere in antipolo...

ok!.....

so there...we went to pagrai, and i was one of those people assigned to do the spot mapping! "what the?!!" i never knew it would seem like fitting your head into a tiny almost microscopic hole...well...not really, maybe i exaggerated it, yeah! i did, nobody can fit his head on a tiny almost microscopic hole!, anyway enough about head fitting, lets go to what really happened, so there..as usual, we went there on a hot sunny day, great huh?! well i dont think so, it was hot and it hurts my skin!!!, and to think that i was the spot mapper, i need to catch up to my professor *sr. MES and sr. TJ* and at first, i was confused, confused to the point that i even forgot what a spot map is...*how stupid*

anyway...there, i dont have any plans on typing the whole thing i did to the spot map, my brain will blot out! "SERIOUSLY" i mean its so messed up i cant even understand it myself, why did i even become the spotmapper in the firstplace? the spotmapper doesnt need the skill to draw? he needs the skill of having a good memory, and come to think of it...the skill of understanding! *which i do not possess*...i know! it hurts, but what can i do? thats just plain me...well since the thing is over, and somehow i was able to survive the thing, the only thing left for me to do is to fix the spot map.

there!...problem solved...well not really...

and another thing! did i mention sr TJ*velasco* was with us?...oh yeah i did, so he was there...so what?! whats the deal?.....

.......

......

.......

*after moments of silence*....

ahhhhhhhhh! OK ENOUGH!!!! so what if i have a crush on that teacher?...so what if his...uhhh....well...that! he was that!, ok now i dont know how to say it...it doesnt matter to me anyway...i have a crush on YANCY too? whats the deal? they're still guys...nothing matters? and plus nobody knows it except for digy...and of course there's no way he'll know...he doesnt know i have a blog...and he doesnt care either...

wait!...should i describe the world that time?....

hmmm.....

maybe not, im sure when SOMEONE I KNOW sees this he'll be freakin mad...or maybe just jealous...*laughs mischievously* =p!

ok...so what happened to the rest of my day? as usual...we went back to school, listened to my mp3 at the bus, went home, pet my cat *ash*, eat supper then head straight to the computer...whew! what a common day....

later im planning to study anatomy because we have a quiz tomorrow...and oh! i discovered that my blood pressure is running low *70/40*, my proffessor said that we're anemic *me and digy*, and that we should take up iron supplement and eat green leafy foods...i appreciate the concern^^, *thank you sr MES*

ok! before i start talking about tomorrow, i should end this right away...ok! it means that i run out of things to say...so this is bye for now

*i forgot to do the healthcare reflection* T_T

*sorry for my grammar*

2006-09-05T16:38:00.000+08:00

[mood | depressed]

its my second post, I'm not planning on doing the healthcare reflection today because I'm not in the mood of doing it...So its Tuesday, VOLLEYBALL game...Wow! We lost the two first sets because of me...Yeah! I SCREWED IT ALL UP!!!

I felt sorry sorry about it...........

I felt like my teammates are so angry with me now.........Or! Maybe not.... They're not that type of person......

but I know that they want to be exempted too, I want to be exempted but my skills wont let me!!!... What should I do?!.... I just cant get it right!.... We cant loose just because of me....Knowing the fact that Jerome*volleyball team captain ball* is with us....I mean.....Its not his fault....Actually he doesn't need to be exempted anymore, I know that he's helping us in any way to get high grades in volleyball...

but I guess....

it just wont work on me

I mean... I don't really have the skill

its very different....

even if I practice so hard its just not worth it....I cant believe ill fail P.E

and plus! Basketball is next! MUCH WORSE!!! I don't know anything about basket ball...Even dribbling is very hard for me...Much worse if its shooting ......*shouts*.......What should I do?! I don't have time to practice...I have my major subjects....They're far more important than P.E

this is really a stressful day!!!

ok! Stress is enough....This mood icon things! Its not really an icon, its just a stupid uploaded image from my photo bucket and me attempting to mimic my friends work *angeli* ok so I got jealous! I wanted to have the icons too...But I'm afraid to ask...I mean I'm shameful to ask! Its her work and she deserves it for herself...I always ask favors and never gets to do favors for them...

this is not right.....

I mean I should be able to do things on my own...I'm so dependent I cant even stand straight without them

I admit!....

my friends are important!

not because I ask them to do things for me...

but because............

nah!! I don't know!....

ok! so there's me! the so called "DAMSEL IN DISTRESS" it suits my character! KITTIKAI...you know?, when you make a character you change it and make it the person you always want to be! yes! believe it...she is my dream character...ive added many positive things and of course removed the negatives about me...although some of them remained...

sometimes you cant consider your character complete without leaving something thats common to you...even if its negative.... my friends have they're own character too....but I don't really know if they made them according to how I made mine....

*laughs* of course not! everybody is different from one another...we have our own perceptions of things

so why am i laughing?! haha! weird.....

anyway im running out of things to say...when i get a phone im going to switch to globe...SMART sucks!!! and plus most of my friends are globe!...

ok enough about today...tomorrow is our healthcare community to PAGRAY...a place somewhere in antipolo, its my first time to be there! too bad! i runned out of money and i wont be able to eat chocolates at the bus....and im the one of the people assigned to draw the spot map!

wait!...

i should'nt be writing about tomorrow....

thats it!!! im really running out of things to say...so....

im off...bye ^^,

*sorry for my grammar*

2006-09-04T20:24:00.000+08:00

[mood | happy]

ok! now this is the start of my blog, im actually clueless on how to do this but...ninyo is here to do it for me...he actually teached me how to do this...but because i was too excited, i never get to understand how to edit a blog! *sorry ninyo! ill listen next time*...so there, you see this is where i plan to put all my reflections in NsTp, hEalTh CaRe and even pHiLosOPhy...if i have all the time!

but before that...let me start on what happened to my day today...so there's monday...no class...no money...no anything!... actually there is something...i was able to start a blog *with ninyo's help of coarse*, we did it at ninyo's house...i was really happy about it! and im planning to help digy make one to..."if i know how!" well...aside from me being so happy and excited about my blog...nothing really happened much...only i was able to get my pictures from my tita cris, i was able to add niÃ±o to my yahoo messenger, and i was able to inform my friends that i lost my cellphone...yeah thats it!

and oh yeah! if you want to talk about ash?*my cute little mimeng*...there he was, waiting for us outside, making noises...thats all about him, nothing much...ok! lets end this and proceed to real business!

*my NSTP reflection* ---ERDA TUKLASAN-AUG 29 2006
ERDA TUKLASAN, this is the center for our community service, at last we get to meet the kids, but too bad we were'nt able to perform our planned activities for them, we forgot to pass our action plan, i just hope the next time we would...we already prepared the materials, but as i said we were'nt able to perform it, but look at the bright side! we get to prepare more for the kids ok!

about what happened! we arrived, carrying our stuffs, then there was actually a shooting, QTV AT YOUR SERVICE...wow! we get to be on TV, but that does'nt matter, until then we found out that our activities for that day was posponed! ouch! ok so thats it...we explaned things to the coordinator, set up a new schedule and...were off! oh yeah! the new schedule is...3:30 in the afternoon, we should be there at exactly 3:30

whew! so the lesson for this day is...*never proceed without any consent*...there! this is where ill be ending the reflection...next stop! TUESDAY-SEPT 13 2006

ok! so there goes my reflection...i think ill do my reflection on healthcare later, maybe tomorrow or something..^^, bye

*sorry for my grammar*